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 #youngerself


I met my younger self for coffee today

She showed up 10 minutes late and I struggled to even show.

her hair was natural brown, and mine is too, and she was happy when I told her we lived our dream of being blonde like Terra from Teen Titans for a few years.

she asked if we still had Matsan and loved gaming. I let her know not really… that I'm hurting so bad I can't do anything.

she asked if we survived the domestic abuse? we did, barely, with so much help from friends and loved ones.

but then something much much worse happened just as we got our freedom back. She starts crying, and so do I.

she asked with bright eyes if we got our dream of making our mom happy and getting out of poverty. 
I could hardly even talk. Almost, I tell her. almost. months into it we lost it all and met someone who was reckless with our health and our money and our life, kissed us while sick and we lost our career and health and all our dreams.

I can't keep the conversation going, i'm crying too much.

it breaks her heart.

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