imagine

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IMAGINE U Start talking to a girl online and start flirting w her and offering her help and she says she's too traumatised to date anyone and is too scared to get hurt again bc she barely survived her last trauma, and you promise you won't hurt her and she tells you how terrified she is of covid but that she's managed to avoid it for 2.8 years and she pays for your flights, opens her home to you, her and her mom welcome you with open arms and cook for you and make you comfortable and you leave her crying all night on her birthday by making it traumatising by drinking too much past your limit, and breaking things and almost dying and going to hospital, , and then she forgives you and then 2 weeks later you give her covid in her own room, disable her, traumatise her beyond belief, stop her working, stop her getting medical treatment, drain her funds, don't manage to pick up the pieces of the covid infection with anything tangible like fulfilling anything you promised,and then she invites you back AGAIN and you break up with her within 10 days of getting there, leaving her traumatised that she just spend £800 again only for you to threaten to go home immediately

then proceed to stay for 6 more months, while broken up, which just causes an immense amount of trauma, (i appreciate there was an attempt to help, but throwing things at the wall, making her so scared she almost called the police several times, wasn't helping)
and ultimately leave with her being a completely broken, deformed, disfigured person broken beyond belief.


I cannot imagine. looking back to how she was before you met her, how bubbly and full of hope and life, and then looking at the after, and knowing it was your actions and your entering her life that did that. I really can't.

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